I always thought the main disappointment of playing Subbuteo as a kid was its lack of realism. You could, after all, only flick one player at a time while every other player on the field remained immobile. That wasn't what real football was like.
At Old Trafford yesterday, I decided I might have to re-evaluate that. In terms of realism, Subbuteo resembles Louis Van Gaal's United all too accurately. Not for the first time, the player on the ball struggled to find a team mate due to the apparent inability of anyone else on his team to move and find space.
United's performance was encapsulated in a five minute period before half-time. Twice a player picked up the ball in a promising midfield position. On both occasions the ball was played around among almost static colleagues until it finished up back in defence. Southampton were already wasting time by this point, but they didn't need to: we we wasting it for them.
Instinctively, I'm not the kind of football supporter who likes to criticise his manager. I really hoped that, given time, Van Gaal's United would add some fluency to the tactical model he's bestowed on us. After all, the Under-21s adopt the same formation and are playing some fabulous stuff. Could the senior team not manage something like the same level of performance? Instead, it's got worse.
When it wasn't your turn at Subbuteo and you had to watch your mates play, it was a pretty dull experience. I usually ended up outside playing with the dog. Subbuteo didn't really work as a spectator sport. Enough said.
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